I spent the better part of today improving that part of my dissertation which was lacking. Namely, it was in the philosophical theory component of my approach. I hate philosophy.
It isn't that I dislike the process. I just don't understand the why. Why is it that men will consume a vast amount of resources and time to contemplate the word being or other? If you want to understand the meaning of existence, ask a woman. She can tell you easily: The meaning of being is the ability to love, even when the world is falling apart before your very eyes and you want to crawl under a rock to hide.
If you ever go shopping at a grocery store, look for a young mother with a newborn. That is the epitome of existence-meaning. She is there, looking to find food to feed her family, probably sleep deprived, while struggling to keep a young baby from going ballistic while the other customers shudder from the shrieking. Autism moms know that feeling too. The shrieking is the inevitable result of our special kids meeting a point in their existence that is in-congruent with their sensory tolerance level. The struggle is real. Reality is this. To consider it, one need only watch an autism mom for ten minutes. Meaning in existence is found in those around you, and how much they need you, despite your desire to disappear.
Struggling to share God's Love with a child who operates from a place of anxiety in crowds is another way to contemplate meaning in existence. Take a child with autism to Mass and you will soon learn that the conflict between worshiping your Creator and keeping your child from screeching at Mass (because he wants to play with his iPad in Church but you said, "no") is rife with tension. Being takes a secondary place to surviving the moment. Having all eyes upon you as you wrestle your child to the vestibule so the priest can continue the Mass is the very moment of being autism moms like me would rather not know. Being may be important to Martin, but to a mother with a six foot, 300 pound 13 year old having a tantrum because he has to kneel like everyone else in the church, it seems not as important unless it also involves a method of disappearing. Believe me when I say, had Heidegger said, "The necessity of the explicit retrieve of the question of being" to my face, I would have told him to find a hobby. Some of us do not need to "retrieve" the question. It is thrown at us on a continuous basis.
No offense, Martin. I get that guys can't give birth, so they ponder the questions of the universe in order to leave behind proof of their existence on this earth. Don't get me wrong. I am glad they have the time to do it. The accolades and praise they receive from the Mutual Admiration Society should be enough to reward their efforts. However, while you are there, pondering these questions of meaning, the world will fall apart for me here. The luxury of pondering these things is surely the domain of men with lots of time on their hands, not mothers of kids with special needs. With all due respect, I will catch a living hell if I were to do what you did!
Which leads me to my point. What does Heidegger's Hermeneutics have to do with families struggling with daily life, or autism, or a combination of the two? According to a friend of mine, it will help me justify to my committee why and how I need to present my study. Fine. I will grapple with these concepts for the next 24 hours in order to put it in my literature review, thereby, sounding as though I actually understand where Martin was coming from. I'm not sure I do.
The truth is, it is light years from my world. Do I really need to explain Martin's understanding of Being to comprehend what it is like to hold your breath as your child walks five feet from you in church and begins to tear down his pants because he is uncomfortable with wearing his new church clothes? Do I need to define the original Greek term of hermeneutics, in order to completely appreciate the existential crisis that comes from hearing your five year old son go into meltdown mode during the Consecration? More importantly, can pondering the concept of Dasein help anyone know that stomach dropping, heart pounding feeling as your child rushes out of the church straight for the parking lot when you let go of his hand to dip your fingers into the holy water to bless yourself, praying for the strength to get through another week without a breakdown?
The short answer is no. However, it might help me meet the committee where they are, in order to show them where we are.
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